


Perspectives on life

by the_milky_way



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Christmas, Developing Relationship, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:35:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21900283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_milky_way/pseuds/the_milky_way
Summary: Five moments in Buck and Eddie's relationship viewed by others.Set around 3.10 "Christmas Spirit"
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 38
Kudos: 518
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	Perspectives on life

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I wrote anything this long, so this feels like sort of starting over again. Couldn't help all the fluff. :)
> 
> Thanks to [Hecate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hecate) for the beta and dealing with all the fluff.  
> All remaining errors are of course mine and mine alone.

1.

She has been waiting in line for a good twenty minutes now. There are already a good number of people in front of her even though the ticket counter only opens in about 45 minutes. Looking around at the people rushing through the mall, she's sort of glad that she only has to queue for a while and is done with Christmas shopping.

She is so busy watching moms and giggling teenagers that it takes a while before she realizes that someone is standing behind her now. She doesn't turn but listens to the low voice. There is no answer to his questions so she thinks he's on the phone. The way he talks, it's probably a child on the other end of the line, maybe even his child. The softness that accompanies every word makes her smile. It's only when something in that conversation catches her attention that she actually starts listening to the words .

„Yes, Christopher. I know. He will be surprised. I promise.“ There is a certain exasperation audible but not in a bad way. It sounds fond. But she still doesn't really know what made her listen. It feels weird in a way she can't explain. She tries to tune the guy out again and goes back to watching people, when her heart almost stops.

„Of course, Chris. I'm pretty sure there isn't anything in the world that could prevent Buck from helping you with the gingerbread house. Yeah, I'll ask him. Ok, bud. See you at home.“

Buck? No way. It can't be. Even though this is L.A. and as far as she knows he's still here. But no. No. 

She feels her heart settle down again, her mind's whirling though. Should she have called? Told him that she's in town for a few days? It's been almost two years now, and she doesn't think he needs her suddenly crashing back into his life. He's probably with a woman, hopefully happy. So not calling was probably the better idea. And she remembers his letter, the one that made her cry and curse at the same time. Because she knew, still knows, that he was right. His words hit home in a way she's never felt before. The impact of them is something she'll forever cherish even though they meant an end to something she still considered good.

„Hey.“ 

And her heart almost stops again. She almost turns, too. A split-second before she remembers that he doesn't even know she's here. That she has her back turned - so there was no way he could have recognized her. And then the answering „Hi“ registers. The man behind her. She can't help it and completely tunes into what's going on behind her.

„Soooooo...“ Buck says and she can see him bouncing on his toes in her mind, excited and eager. It instantly makes her smile.

„Nope.“ The dry answer almost makes her laugh out loud. She has to bite her lip not to do just that. This is exactly the way you have to deal with an excited Evan Buckley.

„Oh come on. It's not like I can find out anyway,“ Buck whines. She's never realized that he could do that and still have that underlying amusement quite apparent in his voice. She hadn't known him long enough to be able to decipher all his nuances. Hearing it for the first time makes her realize how little she got to see of the man she really, really liked once upon a time.

„Oh, you think so, huh? Well then, try your best. Just be aware, those eyes? No gonna work on me. Christopher doesn't get to know what Santa is bringing him. So neither do you.“ She can clearly hear the laughter in the man's voice and is suddenly very certain that he knows Buck better than she ever had the chance to.

„You are a mean man, Eddie Diaz.“ Buck answers, and she can hear the pout – is pretty sure if she turned she could see it, too. It makes her smile all over again. It's such a Buck thing.

“I know. You keep on reminding me almost daily. Doesn't change the fact that I will not tell you. I didn't last Christmas. I didn't for your birthday. What makes you think I will now?”

Last Christmas? So they've known each other for a while now. 

“Uh... after the year we had, I deserve a little pick-me-up?” It's not really said in a serious way but something in his voice catches her attention. He sounds playful but more mature than she has ever heard him before. He grew up in ways she hasn't been part of. She doesn't have the privilege to know anything about him anymore, which is a sad and somewhat sobering thought. 

“Yeah, we all do, Buck. Use the suspense and excitement as a pick-me-up. Surprises can be good, you know. We should go back to having those instead of bombs and natural disasters.” The guy... No, Eddie apparently, says it gently, not admonishing or patronizing. But bombs? Natural disasters? What the hell has been going on here while she was away? She needs to have a serious word with her brother later. 

“You know, I hate it when you are reasonable. Isn't it enough that I have Bobby and Hen for that?” 

So the firehouse family is still in the picture. Good, she thinks. Buck needs this support. And Eddie does seem to know them as well. A firefighter, too? Meeting on the job is such a cliché, but who is she to judge?

“We get into enough trouble as it is, Buck. Sometimes reasonable isn't bad. And really, you wanna tell me, you don't get this way with Christopher?”

“Yeah ok, point. Why are we here anyway? Thought we were done with presents?” 

She feels her eyebrows climb up a little. There's an awful lot of “we” in there and she doesn't know how to take this. They seem close. Very familiar and attuned. For a second it makes her crave that feeling of familiarity she had with Buck. It also makes her wonder how they met, makes he wonder what they are to each other, too. She never even thought about Buck being open to everything, but it makes sense in so many ways. It is Buck after all. 

“This is for Bobby and Athena. Maddie ordered tickets. We just need to pick them up.”

They don't talk for a while. She turns a little, wants to risk just a glimpse of them while she can. Almost chokes up a little when she actually does see Buck. He stands just so that she can watch him without having to actually turn around. He looks good. The small smile playing on his lips is something she remembers well. This time though it's not directed at her. She risks another look. And catches an answering smile on an unfamiliar face. A face she can admit has all the features she would go for. All the features Buck apparently now goes for judging form the way he looks at the man. So this is Eddie then. 

“Let's get eggnog after. Yeah?”

“Buck...” There is a sigh in there and she knows nothing good will come out of this.

“Eddie... It's just eggnog. There isn't much in it anyway.”

“It's still alcohol.”

“Yeah, and I have been off of blood thinners for a bit.”

“The doc said two weeks. I know you remember because you complained loudly and wholeheartedly.” The fondness is back in Eddies voice. And the answering huff is telling. 

But, blood thinners? Her training taught her well, she knows that it is something serious. Something connected to the bits and pieces she caught in the last few minutes. Buck seems to get that Eddie is serious and just sighs.

“But eggnog... it's not really Christmas without it.” The pout is audible again. Buck shifts slightly and her heart leaps a little, and she turns back fast, almost jumping . She's just glad that those two seem to be so caught up in each other that they don't even acknowledge the weirdly moving woman in front of them. 

“Tell you what... Christopher wants you to help him with the gingerbread house. So how about we do a child-safe version of eggnog. Invite Denny and Hen for tomorrow. Have a christmas-y afternoon? Might help with taking Chris' mind off the fact for a bit that we both have to be at the firehouse during actual Christmas.”

So they do work together. 

“Man, that's not fair. Using Christopher to sway me.” There's something in Buck's voice she can't identify just then. But it sounds protective and caring. “Ok, yeah. Let's do it this way. Next year though, I'll demand alcohol. Just so you know.”

“Ok, Evan.” Evan? Has anybody ever called Buck this? She just has to turn a little again. Almost boggles at the sight of a soft smile on Eddies' face and how Buck just blinks at it. He looks stunned for a second before the most brilliant grin spreads. It starts slow at his lips but is in full force not even a second later.

And she suddenly gets it. Eddie just didn't simply agree to letting Buck have alcohol. He agreed to having Buck still around by this time next year. Just like that she has the feeling that she's witnessing something special. Buck moves, glides almost closer to Eddie. The kiss that follows looks soft, nothing frantic, more like reaffirming. They are both smiling against each other's lips and part again after a few seconds. There's a fluttering in her belly she doesn't really know how to describe. She's happy. She's happy for Buck. And she almost laughs out loud again when Eddie speaks. He's drawing Buck closer again, almost whispers – it feels way too intimate but they don't seem to care.

“Of course.. .you had do to it in a mall. While waiting in a queue.” Eddies laughs against Buck's lips.

“You complaining, Ed?” Buck is grinning now, eyes shining, and with a start she realizes that she's half way turned towards them and turns back around. Not really all that subtle but they are caught in their own world anyway. The woman in front of her is much more aware and smirks. 

“Not really. As for a first kiss, this was pretty nice,” Eddie answers in a way that lets her know he's grinning, too. She blinks for a second before she realizes that something he's said is echoing in her mind. Their first kiss. She witnessed Buck's first kiss with someone else and it only hurts a little. Not because she thinks he should still be pinning for her. She's not that kind of hypocrite. It hurts because of the missed chances, of the way she left, of the happiness that could have been theirs. 

“Is this Buck 3.0?” Eddie sounds curious.

“What? Oh no... I think we are 4.0.. I left 3.0 behind after the tsunami and the disaster that followed. I don't want to be 3.0 any longer. I like how I'm right now. I like how we are right now. I like having my best friend back.”

“I wasn't gone, Evan. Just a few bumps on the road, nothing more. And yeah, I like the way we are, too. Just... don't think we aren't talking about this later.” She gets stuck on the use of Buck's name again. This holds so much meaning, so much.. yeah maybe even love. 

“So I am coming over tonight?”

“It's not like you don't practically live with us anyway, Buck,” Eddie's answering laugh sounds amused and fond at the same time. She just knows Buck is in good hands.

The queue moves forward and suddenly it's her turn. The second she tells the sales assistant her code for the order she knows Buck recognized her. There is a certain tension behind her now. A silence that is louder than anything she's experienced in a while. She can feel his eyes on her back and shivers a little. It doesn't feel as bad as she thought it would. When everything is said and done, when she has her tickets she turns around to face him, to face them. The smile she feels slipping onto her lips is genuine, and it surprises her a little.

And yeah she was right, Buck looks good. Astonished and maybe a little shocked but really good. Eddie though is eyeing her a little suspiciously, which she can't begrudge him. 

“Abby.” It's not a question, just a statement. Looking into his eyes, Abby finally feels the closure settle over them that has been missing the last two years. She sees the second realization settles in Buck, too. Sees it in his eyes and the way he smiles at her. This is the end. There are no open questions between them anymore.

“Buck.” Abby says, more to be able to say his name out loud than anything else. She moves in for a hug which he grants her. It's brief. It's the goodbye they both needed. It's a start of something else. Abby looks at Eddie when they move away from each other. Sees understanding reflected at her. Then she looks at Buck one last time.

“I'm glad you are happy, Buck.” With that she turns and leaves. There is nothing else they need to say to each other. If she needs Buck, if she needs help, she knows where to find him. With his family. With Eddie.

***

2.

Maddie knows something is up with her brother the second he steps into her apartment. He's glowing in a way she has never seen. She gets it or at least part of it. It's the holiday season, he is back with his chosen family and he's allowed to work again. But there is something else in this glow, something new and shiny.

What she doesn't get is the two sacks of presents he hauls into her place. They aren't celebrating together since most of 118 has to work on Christmas. So why he's bringing wrapped packages is a little beyond her.

“Uh, Buck?”

“Hey, Mads... just let me hide those real quick and then I'll be off again. Hen and Denny will be over later. I promised to help with the gingerbread houses.” Buck huffs out while he drags the sacks to her closet and pushes them carefully in. 

“Explain,” she demands when he emerges from the closet again. 

“The presents? Oh, uh.. well I don't have any space to hide them at my place. And Christopher is over all the time. And I can't hide them at Eddie's since .. well Christopher and Eddie are there all the time. And the firehouse is out of question. I know Chim and his busy nose. Those presents would be unpacked within no time... So your apartment it is, where you can prevent all that from happening because you love me and want me to be able to surprise everyone.” Buck finishes in a huff and blinks puppy eyes at her. This worked when he was 8. It still does now that he's 28.

“Surprise everyone or just Christopher and Eddie?”

The happy glow is back on him, and she suddenly knows that something has happened. There is a small blush creeping up his cheeks and she almost coos. But only almost.

“Spill, Buck. Did he finally make an honest man out of you?”

Buck snorts, rolls his eyes and plants a kiss on her cheek.

“Not gonna kiss and tell, Mads.” He says while he's already on his way out. 

“So, you did kiss then?” She doesn't need him to answer, she can see it clearly all over his face. “Not just a boy crush anymore, huh?”

“No. Not at all. Just... yeah...” Buck blinks as if to remind himself that this is real. The small happy smile never leaves his lips and Maddie wonders when her little brother grew up. He certainly has a bit of baggage on his shoulders, and she's glad that he's found someone to share it with. 

***

3.

Play date indeed. The kids are having fun and she certainly doesn't exclude Buck from that term. That man can be a giant child sometimes but in a good way. He's busy helping with the gingerbread houses but looks up from time to time. Hen can practically see the sparks flying between him and Eddie, who is sitting right next to her. But she doesn't say a word. She's not sure if those two are oblivious as well or are just trying to keep it all private for now. She sure as hell won't play matchmaker and have it come back to her in a bad way.

They are grown man and can figure it out on their own. She's just here to have a good day before the Christmas chaos breaks loose. They won't have a quiet minute for a couple of days. So this here? Being with good friends, with family, that's just what she needs. What they all need after the year they've had. Buck laughs out loud at something Denny says, and Hen almost snorts at the way Eddies eyes hone in on him.

Eventually the boys vanish into Christopher's room after the mood sort of went down a nudge with Christopher asking Buck if he could spend Christmas with him. Buck's at the table with them now, lamenting the missing joy this time of the year should bring. But they all agree that having to work isn't in any way contributing to building a good mood.

“Hey, how about I'll go and get food for dinner while the boys are busy? I'm not sure if either of us is up to cooking tonight,” Bucks says when there is a lull in the conversation and they are all sort of caught in their own thoughts. Hen blinks, not sure how to take the implication that Buck's around the Diaz' household often enough to cook on a regular basis. Eddies doesn't even seem to register the fact, just nods and hands over money. It's such a domestic scene that Hen reevaluates her earlier assessment. They probably aren't as oblivious as they want everyone to believe.

“Chinese?”

“Sure. Hen? You guys staying?” Eddie is looking at her with an amused twinkle in his eyes. She's pretty sure he wants to be alone with Buck tonight. For a second she thinks about offering to take Christopher for a sleep-over but thinks better off it when she remembers his face after the Christmas question. He needs time with his family. And Hen think Buck and Eddie have it under control. 

“Not this time. Karen is making Mac'n'Cheese. And I can't keep Denny from his joys,” she answers, already deciding to call Karen on the way home to relay the plan. Eddie just nods while Buck grabs his jacket, leans over and kisses Eddie as if it's the most normal thing. Well it probably is... just not when Hen is around to witness. She grins at Eddie's sort of stunned face when Buck is gone. So kissing each other goodbye is a reflex already for one of them. 

“So...” Hen starts only for Eddie to roll his eyes and jump when his phone vibrates on the table in front of him. He laughs out loud when he reads the message, types something and shakes his head. Yeah, this feels familiar. Buck doing something impulsively and Eddie playing the calming part. This works. It has been off for a while, has been tipped sideways. But it seems that they have righted things again or are at least one their way. This is them, and Hen realizes that it's good this way. 

“He's freaking out?”

“Hell, yeah,” Eddie chuckles. “I'll calm him down when he's back.”

Hen watches him for a few seconds, sees the small smile that hasn't left his lips since Buck texted, sees the spark in his eyes when he looks at her. This has the potential to be something good for both of them.

“I'm happy for you.” And she means it. They deserve it.

“Thank you.”

***

4.

The firehouse is empty safe for the ladder crew minus Buck who starts later. Ambulance is out as is the engine truck. Bobby uses the time to try out some recipes he found. It feels like the calm before a storm, and he wants to relax before it gets ugly again. They've had way too many storms lately. Figuratively and literally. He just hopes Christmas will take it easy on them. It's only a few days until then, and he really doesn't need any kind of drama. He's about to put the last touches on the pepper chicken, when he hears someone come up the stairs. 

The second he sees Eddie's head come into view, Bobby has to smile. The man's so immersed in the conversation that his cursory glance around the loft totally bypasses Bobby in the kitchen area. Bobby wants to tune out the conversation but hears the heavy sigh when Eddie all but flops down onto one of the couches.

“Christopher. I said no. I will not change my mind just because you talked your friend's older brother into vouching for the camp... no... Christopher... Chris... it's a camp from 12 years on. We can't talk about it when you are actually twelve. Yes, I know. I'm sorry but no. Ok. Yeah, see you at home. Love you.”

The next sigh has Bobby looking up from where he tries to set the timer. The sight that greets him reminds him of times when his own kids made it hart to like them. Oh, he always loved them. Still does. But sometimes liking them, if only for a brief moment, was a feat. Eddie looks exhausted, shows traces of a fierce argument with an eight year old that has his mind set on something. Eddies rubs his hands over his face, sinks deeper into the couch and just slumps all over. Bobby is about the say something, when he hears footsteps on the stairs again.

Buck is on the phone as well and judging from the frown on his face, he doesn't like what he's hearing. Bobby suddenly has a weird feeling abut this moment, like something is about to happen that might change a few things around in the firehouse. But it's not foreboding or bad, just weird. Anticipatory in a way.

“Ok. And what did your dad say to that?” Buck asks standing in the middle of the loft. Bobby isn't sure if he's even seen Eddie or him yet, because Buck's focus is entirely set on the floor. Buck is talking to Christopher. And Bobby seriously hopes for the sake of Buck and Eddie's friendship that the kid grew up during he last year. Buck 1.0 would probably be all for the adventure Christopher is mostly likely trying to sell to him without really thinking about the consequences. This Buck though, well Bobby thinks he might be in for a positive surprise.

“Oh did he now? Really, Chris? Ah, ok. Well, tell me about it again...” Buck is listening intently while he moves towards the couch where Eddies has perked up considerably and is watching his best friend. Bobby watches both of them. Prays for the drama to stay out of the house or for it to at least be manageable.

“Yeah, you know buddy... I'm not comfortable with that. It sound dangerous. And it's from twelve years up... so yeah... sorry, but I gotta say no.” Buck sighs a little, listens intently again and then just falls onto the couch next to Eddie. He's almost lying on top of the other man now. Not that this is uncommon but Bobby has never seen Eddie look this way at Buck. There's a mixture of intense feelings in those brown eyes. But the most obvious of them all is a fondness that borders on adoration.

“Yes, I know. Ok. Be good to Carla. Oh, and Christopher? When I'm home we'll talk about lying to someone. I know you didn't but that's not ok. And it's not fair to me or your dad. You get that, right buddy? Good. See you later.” 

When the hell did Buck grow up like that. When did he become a parent? Bobby is, to say the least, astonished and proud of the kid. Eddie pulls Buck close just then, hugs him tight and doesn't let go for a while. Bobby thinks about making his presence know but stops when Bucks speaks.

“Did he really just try to play us against each other?”

Eddie snorts. “Yep. I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. Welcome to parenthood, Evan.”

“Man. He's only eight. How will that work once he's a teenager?”

Bobby blinks. He thinks he missed quite a few developments lately. First of all, Evan? He's only ever heard Maddie use that name and usually Buck reacts allergic to it. But when Eddie said it, well it was almost like Buck relaxed. Like he wants Eddie to use it.

Secondly, Buck's planning to be around when Christopher is a teenager? Bobby's pretty sure that they are building something good in this firehouse but it's so unlike Buck to plan ahead this way. 

“So who's gonna be the bad dad?”

“Well, you volunteered to talk to him about lying to us... so...” Eddie says with a smirk. It changes into a soft smile when Buck moves even closer. So yeah, maybe Bobby needs to talk to them soon. 

“Why did I agree to this again?” Bucks bemoans, and Bobby has to smile at the exasperation. 

“Because you like me.”

“Yeah, well no.. I pretty sure I'm in love with you.”

Bobby is so flummoxed that he lets go of the pan he was about to place in the oven. It crashes loudly onto the counter top, spilling only a little of the sauce but making Eddie and Buck jump apart, eyes wild.

“Jesus fuck, Cap. Kill me with a heart attack, why don't you,” Buck croaks and lets himself flop back against Eddie. Eddie who is not even looking at Bobby but staring at Buck with a look Bobby knows he himself sports around Athena. Ok, so this is something serious then. Buck doesn't go around declaring his feelings lightly, and Eddie sure as hell isn't this obvious when they are on shift.

Bobby grins and just shrugs.

“Stop being so dramatic and come help. This chicken needs a kick and I'm not sure what exactly to use.” It's a sorry excuse to get Buck away but Eddie looks like he needs time to process. And Bobby knows that Buck will think back to what he just said and will panic in epic ways. Best to keep them busy to prevent yet another storm.

“Hey, Evan?”

Buck turns around already halfway to were Bobby is and smiles at Eddie.

“Yeah?”

“Pretty sure, huh? Guess we are in the same boat then.” With that Eddie gets up, grabs the cleaning supplies Bobby didn't see before and walks down to the truck. Buck just stands there and stares. It takes him a while to unfreeze and turn towards Bobby.

“Uh.. .what have I gotten myself into?” he asks, not seriously but with a sort of wonder in his voice that has Bobby smiling. 

“A relationship as it seems.”

“Huh... go figure,” Buck's grinning all wide and happy by the time he's next to Bobby grabbing the spoon to try the sauce that is actually pretty perfect. Bobby decides that the talk with the two of them can wait another day. 

***

5.

Of course, it's Chimney who walks in on them in the bunk room. Of course, it's Chimney who announces their little make-out session to the entire station through screaming “Oh my god” at the top of his lungs. Of course, it's Chimney who takes the money from everyone else because he bet they wouldn't be able to keep their hands off each other with Buck carrying the mistletoe around like that.

Of course, it's Chimney who ends up helping Bobby prepare the Talk. Yes, capital letters, because this warrants them. Chimney doesn't know what he did to deserve this kind of punishment but seeing those two idiots squirm in their seats while Cap just looks at them is worth it. He has been watching them for a while now. Ever since the whole lawsuit debacle ended and Buck got Eddie to talk to him again. 

There has been something growing. Something that has been around for quite some time now without them being able to act on it or even be aware that there was something to act on. Chimney maybe comes off as goof most of the time but he knows how to watch people, how to read them. At least when the situation isn't directly connected to himself. In that case he's got the worst people skills ever. But when it's other people, other people's problems, he's good at detecting them.

Buck and Eddie had a special kind of vibe from the get-go. It could have gone either way, and in the beginning, Chimney thought they might clash something fierce. It never happened, at least not in a bad way. That very first shift changed everything. And that vibe between them? It only grew when Christopher was added to the mix. This is something serious, probably more than those two realize right now.

Seeing them here, sitting close and waiting for Bobby to say something makes, Chimney smile. They'll be fine. He's sure of it. Before Bobby can utter a word, Chimney sighs.

“Just lock the door next time, guys. I don't really need to see more of you than I already do.”

“Not during shift. Just to be clear.” Bobby adds, closes the folder he had open as an alibi and gets up to leave. “Seriously, I don't care where you do it. Just don't make me write you up for it. Buck knows how that ends.”

Buck splutters for a second, turning red and tries to avoid Eddie's eyes. Eddie just sighs, shakes his head and pats Buck in what probably is supposed to be a consolable gesture. They all know Buck is not that guy anymore. Chimney doesn't say anything else, claps both of them on the back and makes his way towards the loft where he knows Bobby is cooking already. When he turns back for a second, he sees Eddie pulling Buck closer. Their foreheads are resting against each other and Eddies is saying something that has Buck smiling softly. 

Yeah, they are going to be ok.

The End


End file.
